Fill it to the rim...

I should preface this by saying I am a child of the 70s and a teenager of the 80s. My generation was inundated with more name brands--both new and improved--thoughout our formidable years than any other generation before. The nooks and crannies of my childhood were filled a Fun Size, Downy Fresh melange of colorful packaging, bouncy jingles and memorable catch phrases. I remember smiling happy blonde kids on TV demonstrating the latest toy that you just had to have. Personally, I didn't just want, I needed a Baby Alive, the new *metal* Easy Bake Oven and the newest educational robot called 2-XL. And I got them. Do I think my childhood was richer for the experience of whining until I got said toys? Yes. It taught me how to set goals and achieve them.

Now that my generation is in our thirties we are still being marketed to. In the most unsubtle ways I may add. I think it all started with Melt With You in a Burger King commercial in the late 90s. Now its even more pervasive. Its like my generation now fits the "can afford it" demographic and is being targeted commercially up the ying yang. Speaking of Target, don't even get me started about The Beatles songs being bastardized and used to sell yogurt-covered pretzels and bad Isaac Mizrahi off-the-rack potato sacks. Thanks, Jacko. And I am still reeling over the fact of hearing The The's This Is The Day in an M&M commercial. What's next?

I'll tell you what's next. They're actually bringing back old products from the 70s and 80s. Yes, the same exact items, just slightly repackaged and re-emerging onto the American market. No longer will you wish your hair still smelled of Salon Selectives. It can again. Miss Hydrox cookies? They're coming. Liked the way Underalls made your butt look under a skirt? Have no fear. And yes, you can once again fill it to the rim with the actual Brim.

Admittedly, there are some things I'd love to see again:

Grranimals. Matching and coordinating clothing, but not just for kids. For adults. And more notably, single men. Please do us all a favor and come out with a line for them. At least the marrieds have us wives telling them what makes them look retarded.

Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific Shampoo. Just once I'd like to tell that midget joke and have everyone in the room get it.

Jordache Jeans. I liked the little horse on the pockets. Plus after a few washings in hot water, it made my ass look about four sizes smaller.

And of course, and my personal favorite: The Epilady. It pulled the hair out of your legs one at a time but very quickly. It hurt like a son of a bitch but it worked. I'd just love to have one for nostalgic reasons. Okay, to threaten my husband with it, but that's only secondary. Honest!

Which products from the past would you like to see available again?

Thanks for keeping it classy, Jon Stewart

I like The Daily Show with Jon Stewart as much as the next guy. Heck, probably even more because more and more polls these days report that "the next guy" is a total moron. But anyhoo...

Last night I was watching Jon Stewart with my hubby and laughing as usual. Even though the humor is leftwingist and usually happily pokes fun at the latest Republican faux pas, its intelligently written and John and I enjoy watching it for the most part. We're only fiscally conservative. The rest we can laugh at. Topic change and Stewart starts "reporting" on the release of John McCain's recent medical records.

"First, the records were made available for three hours, and could not be taken out of the room. Second, no internet or cell phones were allowed. Third, if you left the room for anything but a bathroom break, you were not allowed to return. And fourth, well, I think that's entirely reasonable [on screen: rule #4: No Masturbating]. I think that, actually, that one was necessary. I'm looking at you, Brit Hume."

Okay...taking a jab at notoriously teflon reporter Brit Hume was pretty funny. Genius, really. He goes on to make fun of the various items McCain was treated for in the last eight years. Ha ha, we're still laughing along. But this is when it got weird for me.

Stewart reaffirms his respect for the Senator, then starts in on McCain's "unremarkable buttocks," which is what a dermatologist calls an area of skin where there are no problems. Stewart goes on and on about how McCain's buttocks are indeed remarkable, shows doctored clips of McCain slapping his ass while on the show, Stewart pulls out a ginormous drawing of a pink butt--in watercolor I presume--and starts drawing freckles on it...it just went on and on.

I know some of you are snickering at the thought of this, or maybe you saw the show and thought it was pretty darn funny, but it literally made me very sad for a myriad of reasons. First, I know Jon Stewart and his writers are far better at writing The Funny than this. Second, I always considered The Daily Show to be in a more cerebral niche than the low brow humor it was at this moment. It also made me very sad to think that they were making fun of someone's medical documents who just happened to be a P.O.W. for years, who served this country and should have the genuine respect of all of us Americans...whether you end up voting for him in November or not, he's earned that respect. Period.

Maybe I wasn't in the mood for this type of base Howard Stern-type antics. I just wanted something amusing but intelligent so my brain doesn't totally go to mush talking about Spongebob to pre-schoolers all day. I thought Jon Stewart had that covered for me. I shouldn't have assumed so much. Because you know what happens when you assume...

Welcome to the Monkey House

This being my first blog, I debated whether to formally introduce myself to my potential readers or just jump right in and start bitching, er, I mean, blogging about my life. I figure I could kill two birds with one stone by forgoing the niceties and getting right down to business. After all, if you just read a bit, you'll get to know me pretty well. You've been warned.

But I will tell you the basics. I'm 37 years old, I live in Southern California with my husband and two boys, ages three and one. Yes, I am the only female in my house. I am a stay-at-home-mom, whatever that means anymore, since I rarely just stay at home. And, as the title implies...I chase my family around with my camera. I am the mother of all paparazzi. I am The Mamarazzi. Behold my greatness and my 4GB SD card.

My life these days is an endless string of playdates and doctor's appointments, followed by a flurry of trips to Disneyland, Sea World and the zoo. To all of which we have annual passes. Which means the fun won't stop until 2009 or, let's be real, until we renew them all again next year. In between these all-day excursions my husband John and I manage to carve out some time for each other and try to go on "dates" occasionally. Last one we went on was last Saturday. We had an unusual eight hours alone courtesy of MIL (mother-in-law, for all you non computer savvy people) and we went to dinner, bowling and saw the latest Indiana Jones flick. We had a great time. No need for restaurant high chairs, no messy chins to wipe, we even drank a fruity martini each. We felt like we were 32 again!

But I digress. This is my life and the simian-like beings who live it with me. I adore each of my little monkeys. So this is my blog. Welcome to it.